Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Insomnia
It is currently 3 in the morning here, and I am wide awake. I promise that I lay in bed for like 30 minutes before giving up and getting back on the computer. Aunt Flo decided to show up, and she brought Uncle Cramp, Brother No Sleep, and Best Friend Excessive Thinker. All I keep thinking about is having kids. My husband said yesterday that our former roommate (I'm sure you remember me talking about Ulti McDouche Bag) thinks that his girlfriend (yep, same one that cleaned my freakin' microfiber couch with something) might be pregnant. Anyway, Jack said something about how he almost wishes he would have just had a kid really young, so they would be older and already in high school by now. I know, scary some of his friends have kids in high school AND one of them is already a granddad (my husband is only 31). Anyway, I have always been told to wait as long as I want to have kids. I am only 26, but all of the sudden I'm all worried. Specifically, what if it is really hard for me to get pregnant? Now I have waited all of this time (I know, I know I am only 26), and I will have to wait even longer to have a kid. My mom was a really young mother, so I grew up hearing about how I should wait until I am ready blah, blah, blah (My oldest brother will be 34 this year, me, next brother is 16, and youngest brother is 13. Yep we all have the same parents). Seriously, when is anyone ready to have a kid? I secretly hope that I just wind up pregnant, so I don't ever have to tell myself I am ready. I will just be forced to be ready. Ehhhh. I told myself a couple of years ago that I wanted to be 28 when I had my first kid. It is amazing how things change in the course of a couple of years. Ehh.
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I'm no expert in baby makin', but I can say that my first one was definitely not planned (I wasn't even married) and my second one WAS planned and both times I was still shocked/horrified/in disbelief when the little pee stick said "pregnant" (that would be because I had to use digital tests, because I overanalyzed the shit out of the regular kind). When I had my first we had a shitty one bedrooom apartment, I had a shitty job, my husband (then boyfriend) just started at Nissan and wasn't making that much, and life was just, well, shitty. BUT it didn't make it any worse, or any easier for that matter, than having the second one. I'm not sure that I was ever really prepared for either, and there has been times that I have both wished that I had waited AND had them sooner. So I guess my point is, it's gonna be the best and worst thing that can ever happen to you. :)
ReplyDeleteAs far as possible infertility, if you don't have any pre-existing conditions then I definitely wouldn't worry. But even if you did already have a concern, most people end up knocked up eventually :) Hell, if the Octomom can have like 15 damn kids and that Dugger lady treat her uterus as if it were a turnstile, I'm sure you could test-tube your way through one or two. :) Just sayin'.
LOL. You have a valid point.
ReplyDeleteWhen my brother and his wife first found out that they were expecting, my mom told me that you could see the panic in their faces. She said that she had to tell them that that is why you have 9 months to get ready. That you just have to learn to make ends meet.