We have been home for 5 nights now.  JT is sleeping like a champ between feedings.  He wakes up about every 4 hours.  Thank you NICU nurses for making him get used to longer times between feedings.  He has had a bit of gas, but gripe water has been my best friend with that.  He has a routine of change diaper then feed that he makes us follow.  If we change him, he expects food.  He is such a sweet little boy.  He loves his bouncy chair and his newborn lounger.  I really want to get him a swing though.  Hopefully my short term disability will FINALLY come through.  I think everything has been totally corrected.  Being broke sucks.  Thankfully we aren't driving back and forth to Nashville every other day, so that is helping.

This morning (ok really yesterday morning) I got a phone call telling me that my Papa had passed away.  The hospice nurse had given him 24-48 hours to live.  He lived 49 hours.  He was my last living grandparent.  I know that I got my love to 'just drive' from him.  I have heard many stories of him loading up all of the kids in the car (all 5 of them) and driving all the way to the beach, letting them get out for a little while and then driving all the way back home.  If gas weren't soooooo expensive, I would totally do that.  I remember going on a ride with my Nanny and him.  I am not sure where we drove, but I do remember hearing Dolly Parton's "Silver and Gold" while we were riding.

We also laid to rest a man that my husband considers a father figure "today".  My husband broke down right when we got to the funeral home.  He went to hug all of Danny's children.  These are the kids my husband grew up with.  The ones he hung out with all of the time.  He hugged Dustin last.  Jack and Dustin had a falling out several years ago, and they haven't talked since (Dustin punched Jack out of jealousy over Big Danny.).  This was the first time that they had seen each other in years.  It was like nothing ever happened.  Dustin's daughter asked Jack if they were such good friends why did he never come around.  Jack and Dustin just looked at each other, and Jack promised her he would come around.  Jack gave her a beanie baby on the day she was born.  She still has it, and it is very special to her!  Her mom said, "That is who gave you Mimi."  She was instantly attached to Jack after that. 

This will be my random things I didn't mention post about the NICU...check back every now and again if you get bored.

1.  Scrubbing in 3 minutes every time you want to see your baby is hell on your skin.
2.  I would rejoice with other parents that were getting to take their baby home, and I would REALLY mean it.  I mean really!  It is really so exciting.
3.  When JT got moved to the 8th floor, he got put next to a little girl that constantly cried.  There was always someone trying to console her.  Her mom would come in, and she was instantly calm.
4.  Speaking of other babies...
       a.  when we were on the 7th floor there was a little girl who always coughed.  :(  Her lungs were
           severely under developed.
       b.  When we were in our last few days in the NICU JT was beside a little girl that was born at 37
            weeks gestation, but she only weighed a little over 3 lbs.  She was teensy tiny.
       c.  There was a little boy that was a twin born the same day as JT.  His mom told me that she had lost
            his twin sister 3 or 4 weeks before she had him, but she was able to stay pregnant with him.
5.  I cannot believe how exciting it is to increase how much breast milk I pump.  I started out with just a few drops.  They gave me these little syringes to collect my milk in.  I started with 5 mL syringes and moved up to 10, 20, 30, 60, and THEN I went to 4 oz bottles.  It was ridiculously exciting, and you can bet that I have about 30 of those little bottles that haven't even been opened yet.  I was keeping a couple packs at a time every time I would get some.
6.  I left the hospital with a bag of about 15 4oz bottles of my frozen breast milk.  Awesome! 
7.  Having a monitor monitoring your baby for 7 weeks telling you when he is breathing and the heartrate is very reassuring and unnerving at the same time.  Unnerving because every time you hear that ding start going off you worry.  JT made his monitor ding constantly because of his O2.  Every now and then the ding would change to an alarm sound.  That is the scariest of all.  I was holding JT during one of his feedings, and he was gulping too fast.  He wasn't breathing enough and then his heart rate dropped drastically (a spell).  My little boy went limp in my arms.  I was terrified.  I started to pat his back and rub his back, and it finally went back up.  That is not something I ever care to experience again.  This is where the reassuring comes into play.  The monitors are reassuring because you know that they are breathing at a good level, and you know that their heart rate is good.  When the nurse took him off of the monitor for us to room in, I was terrified.  No more beeping to tell me if there is something wrong.  I think I watched him breathe all night that night.  I got very little sleep.  I know it is common for a mother to check on her child, but I have been obsessive about it.  I am trying to get better though.
8.  A lot of the nurses pissed me off.  Some of the nurses understood that they needed to form a relationship before telling information that we needed to know.  Some of the nurses would go on information overload with us.  We would meet them for the first time, and they would treat us like we had not been in the NICU for weeks.  They acted like we had only been there for 5 minutes, and we needed to be taught everything.  Some of them would give us information that the others hadn't.  I am sure that it was because they had done tons of research.  We would have nurses that would let us hold JT for several hours, and then some of the nurses would tell us that he needed his rest between feedings and to put him in his crib. On one hand I after explanations of why he needed his rest between feeding because of his brain development made me understand why I should put him down and let him sleep, but on the other hand, I only got to see my baby every other day, and I as a parent needed that bonding time while he was in the NICU. 
9. I am so glad that I am a patient person because patience is key in the NICU experience.
10.  On our last day at the hospital, when we got to snatch everything underneath JT's crib, I realized that the nurses were putting mementos in his little box.  We got a little super hero mask, a preemie pacifier, his second blood pressure cuff (I wish I would have gotten his first one, it was teensy tiny), and his first and second O2 monitor for his little foot. 

Hear ye!  Hear ye!  Let today be known as the day Jack Thomas comes home from the NICU!

I have decided that the hospital waits until you are about to room in to do vaccines and the circumcision because they want your rooming in experience as real as possible.  Ha!  Those nurses still stop by 5 times to check on him.  My poor baby cries everytime we change his diaper.  It breaks my heart.  I am sure his little penis hurts.  I will be so glad when that heals.  I finally get him to calm down around 3:30 in the morning.  I feed him earlier than I am supposed to because he is clearly hungry.  Once I feed him, he is down for the "night."  I have to wake him up for his next feeding, and he is freezing because this damn room has a draft in it!  Thankfully his temperature isn't low.

Jack finds out that his childhood best friend's dad passed away tonight/today as well.  At this point in life, Jack was better friends with Big Danny than he was with Big Danny's son.  We used to go over to his house all of the time.  We hadn't been in a while.  I know it kills Jack to know that he missed seeing him. They don't know what happened yet, but they should know something today.

Life in the NICU

February 9-  Happy Anniversary to me!  We won't go see JT today.  My parents go and visit though!  My daddy gets to hold JT for the first time!  My mama says that JT sneezed 5 times in a row!  That's my boy!  :)

February 10-I should be 34 weeks today!  JT weighs 5 lbs .014 oz and he is 17 1/2 inches long!  I cannot believe how fast he is growing!  JT being a preemie is truly a blessing.  If he were still in my belly, I would be missing all of this.  I think it is kind of cool to talk to pregnant girls in my March Mom group and to share that the baby in their belly is about the size of JT. 

February 11-I make Jack bacon pancakes for breakfast because he will not stop singing this stupid song!

Then we go to Goodwill because I need to get my baby clothes fix in. 

February 13-I decide today is the day that I go back to wearing my regular jeans!  I have lost so much weight that I am below my pre-pregnancy weight!  JT is now taking two bottles a day per doctors orders!  He is doing so well!  The nurses are impressed!  I hope they start to add more in!  He weighs 5 lbs 4 oz. 

February 14-My mama goes and visits JT today.  We go a little later.  We are going to the Preds game for Valentine's Day.

February 15-I get in trouble for having my cell phone out in the NICU.  Whoops.  I know the rule is no cellphones, but I have found that most of the nurses don't really say anything because I also wash my hands after I touch it.  Someone comes in the room, and the nurse immediately snaps at me for having it out.  I think it is kind of weird until she explains to me that the doctor that was just in is a complete and udder germaphobe. 

February 16- I, thankfully, am in the room when the hospital calls.  My brother and Melinda are there to visit JT.  Some how my brother's name is not on the "Ok to visit" list that we created.  I had changed it before we moved up to the 8th floor, and it must not have transferred.  The nurse is very careful with her choice of words when she tells me they are there to visit.  She is terrified that they aren't supposed to be there.  She also wants to make sure that they can hold him.  I am perfectly ok with that.  I start to clean JT's room.  I am slowly able to see the floor.  It seems like every time I think I am getting somewhere, I have to stop and do something else or go somewhere.

February 18-I talk to the nurse today about Chris and Melinda coming in a couple of days before.  She tells me a story about a Code Pink drill.  A code pink is when someone is trying to take a baby.  She said that during a nurse's break, a hospital executive came into the NICU and moved a baby to a safe place.  They replaced the baby with a doll.  A guy that no one recognized came into the room and picked up the "baby" right before the nurse came back from lunch.  She came in the room, immediately told the man to put the baby down and step away.  She put him up against the wall with her body.  This is when I realize that the nurses in the NICU really love the babies that they take care of.  They would rather put their own lives in danger than see something happen to one of the babies.  Just thinking about it makes me tear up.  I am so thankful that we have such wonderful nurses.

February 19- JT is on a roll!  He hasn't had a spell in 2 days!  He has a bottle every other feeding.  The nurse he has lets me give him an extra bottle just to see how he will do.  Jack and I also get to watch some very unentertaining videos.  I did learn a little bit, and I think that is what they are going for.

February 21-  JT is up to 6 bottles out of 8!  The nurse tells us that they will try to not rush him to go up to 8.  A lot of times babies will take a step back if you move to quickly.  Patience is very necessary in the NICU.

February 22- Jack and I leave the hospital early.  When we get in the car, Jack's dad is calling.  He says that he is flying up to Nashville the next day.  Note sarcasm here->greeeeeeaaaaat.  We only come to the hospital every other day because gas is so expensive, and now we have to add another day into the mix because the only way anyone can see JT is if they are one of the people on the list or if they are with us.  Jack is also panicky because he really doesn't care to see his dad.

February 23-  We meet Jack's dad, his sister, and my nephew at the hospital.  I offer to take Jack's dad in.  He says, "No, I don't want to go in.  I just want to see him at the window."  He doesn't understand that he has no choice but go in.  We sit bedside with JT.  I take Jack's dad through all of the routine.  Sign in at the front desk, show ID, go to scrub sink, scrub for 3 minutes, put on gown, he chooses to put on a mask since he just got off of a plane, and we walk back to see JT.  I offer to let him hold him, but he declines.  He just wants to see him in person.  Then we swap with Jack and Jill (see how I did that....what if my little Jack marries a Jill?).  I stay out in the hall with Rio and Jack's dad.  I let Rio play with my phone.  When everyone is finishes visiting JT, we go over to Cori's Doghouse to eat.  Then Jack and I go back to the hospital.  JT is finally on all bottles!  I hope this goes well because that means he will finally get his tube out if he eats well enough!

February 24-We call to check on JT, and the nurse says that he has his NG tube out! 

February 25-I walk into JT's room, and I see his sweet precious face with nothing on it for the first time since the day he was born!  He is beautiful!  I do my best not to bawl my eyes out.  The nurse helps because she starts talking to me.  He had a really bad spell earlier that day.  She hadn't even touched him yet for the day.  He was asleep, and his heartrate dropped down to 52.  She says that they start to do compressions when it drops that low, but she wanted to see if he could get it back up by himself.  She had to rigorously rub his back to get his heartrate back up.  This feels like 2 giant steps back.  He went to whole days without a spell, and then he had one big one.  I am so thankful that it happened at that hospital.  What if we were at home, and we didn't realize?  That scares the hell out of me. 

He weighs 6 lbs and 8 oz.  He has almost put on 3 lbs since being born.  They stopped putting fortifier in breast milk, so now he has to drink Neosure twice a day to help him keep gaining weight.  He is free feeding, since the feeding tube is gone.  He drinks 3 oz in one sitting.  My heart skips a beat.  Will I be able to keep up with him with my pumping?  We try breastfeeding for the first time.  He really wants it, but he doesn't understand how my nipples work.  After about 30 minutes of trying, we swap to a bottle.

February 26-JT's super awesome cloth diapers came today!  I am so excited!  I cannot wait to see his cute little tushie in these and the other ones that I bought!



We call the nurse!  No spells today! 

February 27-When we get to the NICU, I try breastfeeding again.  I tell the nurse that I will take any and all help.  She tries to help him latch, but it just isn't working.  Jack asks about a nipple shield (good hubby), and she goes and finds me one.  I put it on, and he immediately latches on!  SUCCESS!  WHOOT! 

Jack and I go see my Papa that is in the hospital.  He looks terrible.  He looks like he has given up.  This may be the last time I see him.

I am talking with JT's nurse a little later, and she gives me the honest answer that babies in the NICU will typically go home between 36 and 37 weeks.  I have been waiting for this statistic the ENTIRE time we are at the hospital in the NICU. 

We call the nurse later that night.  No spells today either!

February 28-We call the nurse to check on JT.  He is 6 lbs 9 oz!  She asks us if we want him to have a circumcision.  She also suggests that we bring in the carseat, so he can have his carseat test.  I proceed to spend the next hour and half learning everything I can about his carseat.

No spells today!

March 1-We make sure that the carseat definitely fits in the car before heading to the hospital.  It does!  Score!  Normal people do this before buying the carseat.  I couldn't pass up the deal when I originally saw it.  I got it half off.

We make it to the hospital.  The nurse asks me if I know how it works.  Oh yeah.  I even swapped out the chest clip, so the one that fits him was on it.  She tells us that we can go ahead and put him in it, so we can start!  What?!  Already?  I thought it would be a day or two. 

While he is having his carseat test, my heart skips a beat every time I hear a monitor.  I am deathly afraid it is his heartrate or O2 dropping.  It is not.  It is one of the other babies in the room.  The little girl next to him is eating, and she cannot finish the bottle.  It has to be fed through the tube.  I remember this heartache.  JT did this too.  You want so badly for them to finish it, but they are just too tired.  It has to be put through the tube.  It feels like a side step.  Life in the NICU is all about patience.  JT passes his carseat test with flying colors!  The only time his monitor goes off is when he gets irritated.  His heartrate goes up to 215. 

We call the nurse later that night.  No spells!  She mentions rooming in.  I am elated!  I go into a cleaning frenzy! 

March 2-I call the nurse first thing in the morning!  The doctor put into JT's orders that Jack and I are to room in tonight!  YES!  This is so exciting!  I get a few things together, so we can take them with us.  I cry!  I am so excited!

Jack calls Katie on the way to the hospital and asks her to check on the dogs for us because we are rooming in tonight!  This means that Jess knows now too. :)  I was hoping for her to find out via blog, but you know hey! 

We get to the hospital and just wait because we have to wait for our room to be vacated by the previous night's tenants.  While I am pumping, we get our room for the night.  I go back to JT's bedside and feed him the milk that I just pumped and hum to him to get him to sleep.

Jack comes to get me to show me our room, we go grab something to eat in the tower because the little mini sandwiches they gave us for dinner was not enough. 

At 8, I go up to feed JT.  It is Neosure time.  He has a faster nipple.  He drinks too fast.  He isn't pacing himself.  He starts to choke which in turn makes his heartrate go down.  The machine beeps.  A spell...ugh!  The nurse comes over and tells me that she isn't sure they will let him room in tonight because of it.  I tell her to give me a slower flow nipple because that is what he has been using.  Then she says that usually if it is while they are eating they just let it slide and not count it on the 5 days. 

I stay with JT.  The NP comes to get him for his circumcision.  She talks to me about his spell.  She tells me to make sure either Jack or myself feed JT because we know what to look for when he is eating.  She says if I am comfortable with knowing how to pace him that she won't let this affect his going home. 

They take him for his circumcision.  I talk to the other mom in the room to keep my mind off of someone cutting my baby. 

When they bring him back, they tell me that he didn't cry until it was totally over.  He was brave.  The nurse told me that she made sure the warmer was on for him before they did it, so he didn't get cold. 

I mention to her about the onesie that went missing.  She tells me that she will look for it for me.  Baby clothes get accidentally put with the hospital stuff, but they always make it back to the NICU.  I tell her if she can't find it that it is ok because I just thought it would be my donation to the NICU if it was lost forever.  She goes digging through the preemie clothes, and she finds it!  I cannot wait to put it in JT's box!

After a couple of checks of JT's circumcision, she takes off all of his monitors.  He isn't hooked up to anything.  The only thing on him is the hospital bracelet and the sensor that sets off the alarm if you try to take him out of the NICU unauthorized.  We proceed down the hallway, and I grab a breast pump out of the Lactation Room.  When we get to the elevator, the nurse has to type in her code to get the elevator to move because of the bracelet.  The elevator is also making a high pitch sound.

We get to the room.  She tells a few basics about what we need to keep up with, and then she leaves.  This is the first time Jack and I have been in the room with JT by ourselves.  We have always had someone staring over our shoulder making sure we aren't doing anything wrong.  Now it is just us.  The next step is making it through the night, having JT's hemocrit tested, and if that is alright.  He is ours to take home.  Holy crap! 

Life in the NICU-February

February 1-We check regulate body temperature off of list of things JT must do before he goes home!  He gets a new place to sleep!

This is the last bed that JT will be in before he leaves....or so we hope.  There are several babies in the NICU that have actual cribs because they have been here so long.

He finds his thumb today!  It is so cute!  I am really wondering if thumb sucking is hereditary.

February 2-My baby shower is today!  Katie is amazing!  I cannot believe how nice my shower is!  We have tons of people show up!  We are incredibly blessed.

Everything was awesome!

February 3-I should be 33 weeks today.  I order the last of JT's cloth diapers today.  I received the detergent for them yesterday.  The diapers should arrive in about 20 days!

JT is wearing the cutest outfit today.  I wish it were ours!

This is how big JT's diaper is.  

February 4-Happy Birthday to Katie!

February 5-The nurse calls us right when we get in the parking lot of the hospital.  My heart skips a beat.  Everything is fine!  She just wants us to know that Jack Thomas will be attempting to drink his first bottle today!  She wants to make sure we are there for that!  We tell her that we are coming up right then.  She holds his feeding for us.  When we get to his crib side I see that they have taken him off of his canula!  This is feels like a victory!  Another check off the list!  I get to give him his first bottle!  I learn that I can't hold him like I would hold a full term baby while he is eating.  I have to steady his head between my thumb and pointer finger, and he has to sit up to eat.  He is a champ!  He drinks 37 mL out of a 40 mL bottle!  The nurse is amazed!  She wasn't expecting him to drink a lot of it.  

She tells me that he will be getting one bottle a day for a while, and he will slowly work up to all 8 feedings being by bottle.  She sneaks in a second bottle for me, since he did so well with his first.  When we leave because of shift change, JT wakes up.  I think he is trying to rip his Mama's heart out.  I can't bear to leave him while he is awake.

February 5-Jack gets to give JT a bottle which means I get to take photos!

JT has his canula back in, and it feels like a big giant leap backwards.  We really thought that we had checked this off of the list.  

February 6-JT weighs 4 lbs 9.3oz  My grandfather is in the Tower side of Centennial.  My mama got to hold JT today.  :)

February 7-Jack has to be at Zanies tonight, so JT and I whisper quietly jam to some Dave Matthews band. Shhhh!  No cell phones allowed in the NICU!

February 8-I go into Essex, and what do my eyes see?  A freakin' Mamaroo!  I want one of those darn things so bad.

The little girl that is next to JT has one.  It is so freakin' cool!  It is also over 200 dollars, but the one at Essex?  Half off.  I, of course, do not have the money because all of my paperwork still hasn't been approved for my short term disability.  I want one, but I am afraid that JT won't like it, and then we will have wasted the money on it.

Life in the NICU

January 22- Jack gets to hold JT for the first time today.  JT finally leaves his billi lights behind today.  We watched them go one by one.

January 24-My mom goes to see JT today.  He pees on his linens again.  She gets to pick him this time, so that his linens can be changed!  She finds out that JT gets to start wearing clothes today!  The nurse tells me that I can bring him clothes from home to wear if I would like.  I immediately decide I have to go to Goodwill!  I find this tiny onesie.  It is so small!

We go see JT and one of the nurses think it is too small for him, but he can wear it!

This onesie got lost in the NICU.  It makes me sad, but I am glad that some other little preemie baby will be able to wear this onesie.

We get to hold JT for a long time today.  He only made his monitor beep twice while we are there.  I am so proud of him!  He remembers to breathe while we are holding him.  He is almost back to his birth weight today too.  He weighs 3 lbs and 8oz.  They gave him formula a couple of times because he ran out of breast milk.  I choose to skip a day of bringing it to him, so I can catch up to him.  He spits up every time he has the formula.  The nurse that he has doesn't see the correlation between the two until I mention it.

January 25-I contact Andria that I went to school with and tell her I want a Yoda hat for JT (Hookin' It Forward),and I am curious how much it will cost.  She contacts me back and lets me know that she will have it ready for me on Sunday.

January 26-JT weighs 3 lbs and 11oz today!  He is over his birth weight!  We thought he had left his canula in the dust, but he has it back in his nose today.  His oxygen saturation was dropping too low, so they gave it back to him.  They tell us that they don't want him to burn calories trying to breathe.  He needs to gain weight.  I tell JT that I had some sweet tea earlier in the day, and he just smiles.  I am sure it is gas, but it is nice to pretend that he understands.  I go home

January 27- I should be 32 weeks pregnant today.  I pick up JT's Yoda hat!  It is so cute!

January 28-Today is my birthday!  We go visit JT.  He has gained 3 oz!  We try his Yoda hat on and take pictures.  I change his diaper, and his little belly button stump falls off!  I hold JT as long as the nurse will let me.  He cries when she takes him back and puts him in his isolette.  My heart is broken.  He wants his Mama!  I walk over to the Tower, since Jack is at Zanies.  I cannot be in the NICU between 6:30 and 7:30.  I grab something to eat (Happy Birthday to me!) and go back to see JT until Jack gets back.  When we get home, I check the mail.  We have the cutest little onesie from Jack's cousin Todd!

January 30- JT is moved up to the 8th floor!  This is the last floor he will be on before he goes home.  He is no longer a "sick" baby.  He is a grower and feeder!  He just needs to grow, grow, grow.  Everyone constantly asks us when he is coming home.  He has so many more steps to go through before coming home.  He has to learn to take a bottle, start to nurse, gain weight, remember to breathe, and regulate his body temperature  not particularly in that order.  He weighs 4 lbs and 4 oz today.  I cannot believe how fast he is growing!

Life in the NICU....

Life in the NICU is all about the little things.  Mom's who have full term babies usually get to enjoy some snuggle time right after birth. She gets to hold her baby.  She gets to kiss her baby.  She may take for granted changing a diaper or feeding her baby.  NICU moms don't have that opportunity.  Every single tiny milestone is huge.

January 15th-The first time I see Jack Thomas Deakins Heikle III (more on why he is the 3rd later)after the operating room he has a c-pap on.  I can't even see his face nor his eyes. He is under a light to help his jaundice.  

Jack did get to change his diaper for the first time today.  While I am sleeping, Jack visits JT without me.  The nurse tells me when I get there that he has pulled out his feeding tube already, so it had to be replaced.  Jack and I also get informed by a nurse that instead of rubbing his hand that we should hold his hand.  He isn't supposed to be out of the womb yet, and he isn't used to being touched.

January 16- JT's c-pap is off!  I get to see his face today!  He still has his little super hero mask on and his oxygen.  I manage to get to the NICU at just the right time to be able to change his diaper!  Like I said it is the little things.  When I change his diaper, the nurse lifts the top of the isolette.  She pulls his little super hero mask off.  I get to see his whole face.  His very swollen little face.  I cry.  He is kicked back and relaxed.   

Side note:  The doctor had a really hard time getting JT out during my c-section.  He was extremely low.  He really tried to come out vaginally, but my uterus wasn't contracting right.  Dr. Celauro also informed me that I have a tiny pelvis.  She really had to do some pulling to get him out.  Jack says that they had to tell someone to get out of the way during my c-section because they weren't doing something right.  JT had swelling all around his face, and he was very bruised all over his body.  His private area was the worst part.  I am so glad that he will not remember this.

January 17- JT peed on his blanket today!  Whoops!  I think he really just wants his mama to hold him.  The nurse asks me if I will hold JT, so she can change his blanket out.  I ask her if she is serious.  The nurse holds him up and shows me how to hold him.  I am holding my baby for the first time.  I wish Jack was here to see this and take a picture.  Holding your baby for the first time is a really wonderful experience....a NICU first hold is slightly awkward.  I cannot hold him to my body and love on him, I have to hold him straight up from his bed.  I look like the scene from the Lion King when Simba is being presented. 

Dr. Celauro visits me today.  She comes to check on how I am doing and how JT is doing.  When I tell her that he is doing amazing, she starts to tear up.  She wipes the tears from her eyes and tells me that she is glad, that it is wonderful, and that she will be praying for me.

Side note:  I have since done a little research on Dr. Celauro.  She is a truly amazing woman.  I know why she got so teary eyed now that I have read about all of the work that she has done in other countries.  She impressed me on the day that I gave birth with her amazing bedside manner, and I would love for her to deliver another one of my babies in the future.

Katie stops by to visit me today too.  We go see JT, and she takes the cutest video of JT.



January 18-  JT has some new cool stuff in his isolette today.  The occupational therapist brought him a Frederick T Frog.  He loves to kick his leg up on it.  He seems to love to have his feet kicked up somewhere just like me.  I get to ditch my IV today.  First time in 15 days that I don't have an IV in my hand.

January 19-Today is the first time I get to go home.  I cry as we leave JT in the NICU.  I cry when I leave the hospital.  I finally get a decent night's sleep.  It is the longest that I have been at home, since Jack and I moved into our house.

January 20- Jack Thomas is 31 weeks today.  It seems like every day they add another light.  He is going to have his IVs taken out of his belly button today.  Malea, the nurse, tells me that I will be able to hold him after that.  I tell Jack that he is going to miss it, and the nurse says, "No, you are going to hold him right now.  His dad should not miss seeing his mom holding him for the first time."  I insist Jack get his cellphone out because he said he didn't want to take pictures and that we should just enjoy it, but I want pictures so he takes his phone out.  It would be the one day that I don't have my good camera with me.  She swaddles JT up and places him in my arms.  REALLY holding your child and being able to hold them to your chest is the most amazing feeling.  I get to hold him for about 10 minutes, and the only thing I can do is stare at him and cry.  I cannot believe I am finally holding him. We have hit another NICU milestone in fact two in one day because his tubes are taken out later that day.  He no longer needs fluids, antibiotics, or anything else they are pumping into him.

We go back later, and JT has been moved to the next NICU room!  This room has more babies in it, and it seems a little busier.

January 21- I chop 23 inches off my hair today.  When we call to check on JT, we find out he has grown a quarter of an inch already!

The nurse comes back in the room with the wheelchair to get me.  She puts one of those lovely puppy pad things down on the seat, so I can sit on it and has me change back into a hospital gown.  I get into the wheelchair.  Then it happens.  I roll through a door that I haven't been through in 10 days.  I realize that I have no idea what it even looks like out there.  They take me straight to the elevators.  A couple of my previous nurses wish me good luck, and the nurse takes me to the 5th floor.  She wheels me down the hall to the room where I am to labor.  I meet my new nurse.  I tell her I need to go to the bathroom before she hooks me up to the monitors.  She says, "Whatever you do don't push down while you are in there.  Preemies are known to just fall out."  Ok, well I wasn't expecting to hear that.  I gingerly go to the bathroom.  It is hard for me to sit because when I do I go into a contraction.  I am so thankful for the bars on the walls.  I have learned to use them well.  When I finish, I tell the nurse my output (Oh the joys of peeing in a top hat).  She hooks me up to the monitors, and I send my mom a text to let her know what room I am in and then one to Jack.

 

 

The nurse gets the bed where JT will be placed ready for him. 

 

I am ridiculously calm about giving birth.  I am not nervous at all.  Honestly, I cannot even think about either because the contractions are coming quicker and last longer.  My contractions are about a minute long and still a little random on how quickly they are coming.  My mom comes in and we talk about how everything has been going.  She starts taking pictures of the room.  Jack arrives.  He is so tired.  My doctor comes in and checks on me.  She asks me how I am doing, and what my pain is like on the 1 to 10 scale.  I have gotten pretty accustomed to that question.  She checks to see how far I am dilated.  I am at a 3-4.  I have stayed around what I would consider a '4' most of this labor.  I am pretty sure looking back that I have a pretty awesome pain threshold.  Jack puts on some Dave Matthews but not too loud because if it is too loud I may rip his head off.  The nurse comes in to check on me.  She has me sign all of the forms that you have to fill out saying what you want and do not want.  When she gets to the epidural release, I ask her when that is possible.  She says that she will ask the doctor.  She leaves the room.  Jack proceeds to fall asleep. 

 

 

And I proceed to labor. 

 

 

 

The nurse comes back in and tells me that the doctor does not want me to have my epidural yet because she is not sure that I am in active labor yet.  Oh God I just want some relief!  I am not sure I can handle these contractions much longer.  They are not getting any better like they have in previous days.  I get to the point where I am crying out in pain from the contractions.  I feel like someone is ripping me open from the inside. 

 

My dad gets to the hospital.  My mom points out the clock on the wall that won't stop spinning.  She is concerned that JT's time of birth will be wrong if they use that clock.  She points it out to the nurse.  They try to fix it. 

 

I make Jack brush my hair out because I don't want to look like a total terror in photos taken of me.  My hair is a total mess.  It is so long.  I had planned to get it cut the week I went into the hospital.  It is all the way down to my ass, but during my hospital stay it is constantly in a bun.  It takes forever for him to brush it out, so that I can put it right back into a bun. 

 

The nurse comes in to check on me again.  She says that she is going to tell the doctor that I am ready for the epidural and make sure it is ok that I have it.  HALLELUJAH!  She comes back and tells me that glorious doctor is going to come and talk to me soon! 

 

He finally comes in and explains the whole procedure to me.  Sit on the bed, curl your back, feel a bee sting feeling, then he will start to place the catheter.  If I feel a zap on either side of my body, let him know that way he can adjust the catheter.  He has me sign a piece of paper, and he tells me that he will be back in a minute.  WHAT?!  I am ready now!  A bee sting is not going to hurt near as bad as these contractions!  About 20 minutes later another anethesiologist comes in, she says she will actually be the one placing my epidural.  I go to the bathroom before she can start.  Oh God love her!  She quickly gets the lights down from the ceiling.  She starts to place the covering on my back.  She tells me that she is going to wait until I come down from my next contraction to start placing my epidural.  I grab Jack's hand.  I have my next contraction.  When it finishes, I tell her.  She was awesome!  The nurse that helps her is awesome too.  She tries to keep me talking to help keep my mind off of it.  When the anesthesiologist puts that needle in to numb the spot that she is going to be working at, I squeeze Jack's hand really hard to brace for it.  It does not even feel like a bee sting.  It feels like any regular shot.  She starts to place the catheter.  As she moves it, I feel a little zing in my right leg.  I tell her she says ok does whatever she needs to do to fix that.  When she finishes, all I can think is, "Man, that whole procedure did not hurt near as bad as these contractions."  They have me move back into a normal position on the bed.  Then it happens.  My toes start to tingle.  I am getting relief!  RELIEF!  OH MY GOD!  I AM NOT IN PAIN!  It takes all of about 10 minutes for me to not feel anything!  I am still able to move my legs, but I just can't feel it. 

 

My doctor comes back in and asks if I am numb right about the time that I am.  She checks me.  I am an 8.  I got to a freakin' 8 without an epidural.  She says that my cervix still has a lip on it, so they are going to push some pitocin.  I am getting so sleepy!  I haven't slept in about 33 hours.  I am exhausted, and I finally have some relief.  The nurse says, "When you feel a lot of pressure like you need to have a bowel movement, call me immediately!"

 

When the pitocin has had an opportunity to do what it is supposed to do, she checks me again.  The lip is still there.  She can feel his head.  She is having to go around his head to feel my cervix.  She tells me that if the lip does not go away soon that I will have to have a c section.  I never feel the pressure that they are talking about, but I am so ready to birth this kid vaginally.  I am actually kind of psyched about it. 

 

When she comes back in to check on me the next time, she has me bear down like I am trying to push.  The lip is not going away.  She tells me that I am going to have to have an emergency C-section.  She doesn't want to risk JT getting an infection before he is born.  This is when everything starts happening around me.  The nurse calls the 8th floor to tell them I am coming up.  I have people getting me ready.  I am quickly shaven.  I have a hair net on.  My catheter is put in.  The anesthesiologist comes back and pumps me full of something.  The NICU nurses come in and tell me what will happen in the OR with JT.  They put the bars up on my bed.  We are off to the OR to have this baby! 

 

 

I cannot believe that I am going to have a baby in just a few minutes.  Did I mention I am exhausted?  The elevator takes me up to the 8th floor.  I am taken back into the OR, they swap me over to the operating table, my arms are outstretched on two platforms, the sheet goes up, Jack gets by my side, and I am in and out of sleep.  I swear I sleep through most of the c-section.  I hear the doctor say, "You are going to feel a lot of pressure and tugging." and they ask me if I am doing ok.  If they would just shut up, I could sleep.  That is how relaxed I am.  When they finally get JT out, he is taken over to a little table to be weighed and measured.  I force myself to stay awake just long enough to here him cry.  When I hear that tiny sweet cry, I am so thankful and fall back asleep.  Jack claims that he and I talked quite a bit during the c section, but I don't remember it.  The next thing I know a doctor is saying, "Mom, kiss your baby."  I look over and see this tiny, tiny precious face just long enough for me to kiss him and for him to be whisked away.  Jack gets to go with him while they finish the procedure and close me up.  I sleep every chance I get.  I cannot believe how incredibly exhausted I am.  I cannot keep my eyes open.  They move me over to the regular L & D bed.  It is finished.  I am taken back down to my room. 

 

When I get back to the room, Jack shows me the video of JT in the operating room.  He shows me how much he weighs 3 lbs and 9 oz.  He says that he is doing ok.  They have him in the NICU.  Pat comes by and so does Katie.  Everyone takes turns going to see JT. I have to wait until my epidural wears off to see him.  It is pretty cool to wiggle your toys and not feel it.  I am so thirsty, and I can only have ice chips.  I wait for my ice to melt, so I can actually have sips of water.  Eventually I move back to my original room.  Pat grabs everything that is left in the room and meets me back in the room once I am able to move over to my hospital bed.  Jack comes back from where ever he was, and Pat leaves.  I sleep. 

 

Around 2:30 in the morning, my nurse comes in my room, cleans me, changes my pad,  and asks me if I am ready to go see my baby.  I cannot believe it!  I get to see him!  The nurse leaves the room and comes back with a wheelchair.  My awesome morphine pain killers have not completely worn off, so getting out of the bed is a very slow process but not too terribly painful.  When I stand up, it feels like my skin is being pulled apart.  I move like a little old lady and sit very slowly down in the chair.  Jack gets the luxury of dragging my IV along.  The nurse goes very slowly over the bumps in the hallway.  I pass by the nurse's station.  A couple of my previous nurses congratulate me.  We get into the elevator and travel up to the 7th floor.  We go through the doors of the NICU where I learn to scrub in.  I am already in a hospital gown, so I get to skip that step.  I am wheeled down to the little cubby where JT is.  He is covered with a C-pap machine.  He has a little eye mask on.  He has a feeding tube.  I cannot see his face.  He has IVs in his belly button.  A little O2 meter on his foot.  He is in an isolette.  The closest I can get to him is through a porthole.  The nurse tells me I can open up the door and touch him if I like, and I do.  Jack tells me that I am the first one to touch him.  He hasn't even touched him yet.  He wanted to save that for me.  I cannot believe that little person was inside me for 7 months.  Wow! 

 

 

I start feeling very very hot.  The NICU is just too warm.  I can't handle it.  I get so sick to my stomach.  I feel like I am going to get sick.  I tell the nurse.  She finds me a little bucket just incase, and I am thankful that I have only had clear liquids today.  Nothing is coming up but a little bit of clear liquid.  My meds wearing off is what is really making me nauseated.  I am ready to go back downstairs. 

 

When I get back to my room, the nurse tells me that when I am ready to pee for the first time, I need to call her and let her know.  She has to help me get out of the bed that first time.  I also need to let her know when I pass gas for the first time.  This is also the first time I have to pump.  A nurse has brought me a Symphony.  She quickly shows me how to use it and lets me be in peace the first time I try.  I get nothing.  Not even a drop.  I have to pump every 2 to 3 hours, and even the tiniest drops I am supposed to take to JT.  I go back to sleep after pumping.  Jack gets up really early and goes up to see JT while I am sleeping.  He gets to change his diaper while he is up there and take his temperature.  I learn that just these little things that we can do for JT are important to me. 

 

I let my nurse know that I am ready to go to the bathroom at some point.  It hurts so bad to pee like gripping the walls hurts.  I think the catheter bruised my uterus.  Now that I have been up once, I can get up by myself whenever I like.  I can even go up to the NICU.  Knowing this is what gets me up and moving after my c-section.  I have a baby on the next floor that I can go and see.  I get up frequently.  I find out JT's routine.  Every 3 hours 2,5,8,11 if I am there, I can change his diaper and check his temperature.  It really is the little things.  I cannot hold him yet, but when those times come around, his isolette top can come off for about 10 minutes and I can be that much closer to him.  I learn that we should try to not disturb him too much.  If we touch him, we need to touch and hold not touch and rub.  He is supposed to still be in the womb and the touch can send him into distress.

 



 



This is my first family photo.  It is definitely not what I had in mind, but it is beautiful nonetheless.

 

When I am not in the NICU, I am in my room sleeping or attempting to watch TV.  One of my nurses comes in and tells me that I am doing an incredible job after my c-section.  Then tells me that her and the other nurses were talking about me.  She said that she was amazed at how well I handled the news the first time they thought I was in active labor.  She said that she could see this "Whatever has to be done to protect my baby" look on my face.  I didn't get upset.  I just understood.  She told me that they were impressed with how I was the entire time I was in the hospital.  I didn't really complain about the bed rest, and I was always in good spirits.  I am discharged from the hospital on the 18th, but they are kind enough to let me use my room as a courtesy room that night.  My mom comes to the hospital, and I have to get my prescriptions filled.  She tells me that she will take me to the West End Rite Aid.  We go down the elevators, I see the statue of the mother and child that I remember on the way in, my mom leaves me to go get the van, I walk through the lobby, walk out the front doors, and I start bawling when I look up.  The white beams were all I saw when I was first brought here.  This is the first time I have been outside in 15 days.  This is the first time I will leave the hospital without my baby.  I am reading a book that describes a feeling similar to mine.  It reads,

         "Most new mothers get a triumphant wheelchair ride. They are like beauty pageant winners,

           clutching their babies instead of roses, their faces beaming with excitement while they glide

           through the hallways as if they were taking their first turn on the stage before an adoring

           crowd. But no one looks at the mother without a baby. We are the invisible."

                             -The Preemie Primer

It takes me a while to compose myself.  This is not the way I had envisioned myself leaving the hospital.  I go with my mom to get my prescriptions, and she drops me off at the hospital.

 

I go home for the first time since the 3rd of January on the 19th.  That night is the longest I have ever stayed in my own home.  I had been working so much that I hadn't been able to stay there longer than 10 hours.  I knock myself out with my pain pills.  Just thinking about leaving that tiny little face breaks my heart.  Jack and I agree that we will at least drive to Nashville every other day.  It is such a hard decision to make, but gas is so expensive plus being that far from home makes eating fast food much easier. 

 

 

 

 





Soooo my father in law called on the way home from the hospital tonight, and SURPRISE he is flying in for the day tomorrow.  Greeeeaaaaat!  Anyway, I swear I will write more tomorrow!  I have been staying up after Jack goes to sleep to type up my story, but tonight I will be forced to go to sleep before 4:45am.  If I can't sleep, I will type.  ;)

I totally freaked out a few minutes ago because I just realized that when this little boy comes home....I have no preemie diapers for him.  I am hoping the newborn diapers don't totally swallow him.  It is much more difficult to hijack diapers from the hospital when there is a nurse constantly keeping watch in the room.

The doctor that came in to talk to me explained that while he wasn't totally sold on the studies about magnesium protecting the brain.  He was going to give it to me anyway because if it works, it would protect the brain from Cerebral Palsy.  I have also read that it can stop labor as well, but I guess there are no definite studies on that either.  They hook me up to the IV of Magnesium and antibiotics because they do help keep the labor away.  Anyway remember THE DEVIL!  I cannot remember a lot about the next couple of days. Magnesium feels like fire going into your veins.  I can not focus.  Looking at the wall is hard.  I cannot sleep. I am miserable.  It has a tendency to give people flu like symptoms, and it can make people really nauseated at the beginning because they do a higher dose at the beginning.  I know people come to see me.  I know I eat.  I just remember I having to leave my arm in a certain position, or the fire feeling would get more intense.  I am monitored continuously and JT is monitored continuously because of the mag.  I have a blood pressure cuff that cuts into my arm every 15 minutes.  My O2 saturation gets low, and I have to wear a cannula for oxygen.  When the nurse comes in to take me off of the Devil, I thank her!  Thank you so much!  The next day I am feeling like a different person.  I can finally focus on something. 

The next several days run together.  Anytime I need to go to the bathroom, I have to unhook cables and drag my IV with me.  I become a pro at getting JT back on the monitor, so I don't have to constantly bug the nurses.  I have the luxurious task of keeping up with my input and output.  Peeing into a top hat is fabulous.  I have to make sure my discharge is not green.  I am constantly leaking.  I am thankful that the water replenishes itself, but it is gross to have a constant drip every time I move.  People come to visit.  Jack comes every other day.  My mom and dad come to see me.  Jack's mom sends a gift. Chris, Melinda, and Hailey.  Melinda brings me snacks to help me keep my sanity food wise.  Jill, Mario, and Rio.  Jill brings me Sonic.  Katie comes to see me several times and brings an awesome gift of hospital essentials.  I get several compliments on the socks from the nurses.  Jess comes with Katie one day.  Other than people visiting I just sit there.  I watch TV constantly and the channel selections are no good.  I watch tons of House Hunters, Storage Wars, whatever.  Everyone I talk to basically says, "Oh this must suck."  I don't think so.  I am sure that if I sit here long enough that it will begin to suck, but right now I do not have to work.  I have a free pass after working tons of hours to do absolutely nothing and have nurses basically wait on me.  They will get me anything I want.  Water, ice cream, juice, food, a soft drink...If I drop something on the floor, they will retrieve it for me.  My only job is to lie in a bed and do absolutely nothing but stay pregnant.  I even have a doctor that comes in and says, "You're still pregnant." and checks JT's heartrate print out at least once a day.  There is only so much information that they can give you, unless I want him to repeat it daily.  The nurses and doctors tell me that JT's heartrate is amazing for his gestational age.  It is like he is exercising in there with all of his rate increases.  I learn the times that the nurses come to my room.  It is every 4 hours like clockwork.  I know I can sleep inbetween these times.

Every day I tell JT to please just stay put a few more days.  I will sit here for a month if I have to.  It is ok.  Please just don't come earlier than 32 weeks.  That is the goal.

They take me off of the antibiotics.  They take me off of my IV.  I finally feel free for a day.  I can get out of the bed without having to drag something with me to the bathroom.  I can take a shower!  It is an amazing shower too.  They stop constantly monitoring me.  I am only monitored once every so many hours.  JT hates those monitors!  He kicks them off of him all of the time.  I am having random contractions of varying strengths, but they aren't anything that I can't handle. 

On around the 5th night of being in the hospital, I begin to have contractions that I can no longer ignore.  I start to time them.  They are really close together.  They hurt, but they are still nothing that I cannot handle.  I tell the nurse.  She tells me to let her know if they get worse throughout the night.  They do.  She calls the doctor who prescribes Procardia.  It is a blood pressure pill, but it also helps to stop labor.  They tell me that if I am in active labor that nothing with stop it, so they hope the Procardia will help keep the contractions away.  The next morning my day nurse and the doctor come in.  My nurse is concerned that I am in labor because she believes that I have all of the signs.  They check me.  I am 2 cm and 90% effaced.  I am told that I can only have ice chips, and they are going to hook me back up to fluids just in case I am in labor and have to have an emergency c section.  I just take the information in.  It doesn't scare the hell out of me.  Whatever I need to do to keep my baby safe, I will do.  I will go back on that damn Magnesium if I have to.  I don't care.  Thankfully the Procardia and fluid help with the contractions (so much so that I ask them to turn up my fluids).  They were not completely gone, but they were bearable.  I can finally get some much needed sleep.  I doze in and out throughout the day.  That night, the same thing happens.  My contractions get increasingly worse.  I am breathing through them.  The Procardia helps a little bit, but they are still not completely gone.  People come see me the next day.  I am having to breathe through my contractions in front of them.  Oh and don't talk to me while I am having a contraction because I may rip your head off.  They aren't frequent enough for it to be active labor though, but any sudden movement will bring them on.  I have to brace myself to get up to go to the bathroom because I know the moment I sit up, I am going to have one.  Walk to the bathroom, sit down, have another.  It is killer.  This happens the next several days.  The nights are always the worst.  The night of the 1/13 they are so close that I am keeping up with them on my phone.  If I don't document it somewhere, I forget what time the last one started and how long it was.  They are very close together, but not consistent.  Sometimes I will go ten minutes without one sometimes only 3 minutes.  I let my nurse know.  She gives me a button to push.  It will tell them when I am having a contraction.  She tells me to lie on my left side.  It doesn't help.  I have already tried this at some point it makes the contractions worse.  They start to monitor JT.  The monitor belt on my stomach makes me have contractions.  Every time I contract I feel like I need to pee.  I went to the bathroom so many times.  It gets to the point where I feel like JT's head is about to fall out of me.  I cannot comfortable walk to the bathroom anymore.  The nurse talks to the doctor who comes in to see me.  The nurse checks me.  She can feel his head when she checks me.  I am at a 4.  They are going to move me to L&D, and they tell me to call anyone I need to or that they will do it if I like.  I call Jack and I call my mom.  Jack just got to sleep and has to get back up.  My mom is about to leave for work when I call her.  It is around 7.  She cancels her job and heads straight to the hospital.

The week of Christmas I worked 55 hours.
The week of New Years I worked 65 hours.
The week after that I was supposed to work 55 hours again....JT had other plans. 

I got home from work the night of the 3rd of January.  I was so exhausted, but I was so happy because I was finally not having to close my store.  Both of my shift supervisors had put in their notices several weeks before, but my boss had not been as proactive as he was claiming regarding finding me some help.  I get home the night of the 3rd, and Jack was making dinner.  He made chili and baked potatoes because that is what I really wanted.  I tell him I am going to change out of my work clothes before dinner, so I go into our bedroom in our house that I had yet to spend more than 7 continuous hours in (Thank you Rite Aid).  I run to pee because well I am sure JT is stomping on my bladder.  Little booger.  I put on some pajama pants, and I start to walk out of my bathrooom.  All of the sudden I am wet.  I just kind of shrug it off thinking that I should probably get used to this randomly peeing on myself thing.  I swap into another pair of pajama pants.  I start to walk into the living room.  All of the sudden I am wet again.  I realize that something isn't quite right.  I stand in the living room where Jack can see me.  I just stand there totally bewildered. This cannot be happening.  He asks me if I am ok.  I tell him that I will let him know in a minute.  I return to the bathroom, and I sit on the toliet.  Water that I cannot stop is leaking out of me.  I am still a little dumbfounded.  This cannot seriously be happening!  Jack walks into the bathroom to check on me.  He says, "Are you ok?" I say, "My water just broke.  We need to go to the hospital now!"  In this instant, I am thinking that my usually panicky husband is going to flip out and not know what to do.  He is quite the opposite.  He looks at me and says, "Ok.  I will get the car."  He puts all of the dogs up.  Pulls the car out of the garage and into the driveway to the front door.  I search for a huge pad that I can use to control this fluid slowly leaking out of me. Then I grab my home charger for my phone because I know I am going to need it.  My husband helps me into the car, and we start driving to StoneCrest.  I call my mom and let her know that we are on our way to the hospital.  She asks me all the details, and she tells me to call her when I get to the ER.  The whole ride to the hospital I am strangely calm because I don't want my husband to have a panic attack while he is driving no matter how calm he appears. 
    We arrive at StoneCrest's ER, and I make Jack park vs. dropping me off at the door.  I mean, I am not completely helpless.  I CAN still walk.  We walk in and discover that we have to navigate how to check in at the ER.  What the heck ever happened to talking to a person?  I sit down.  Then I hear my name.  Thank goodness!  They are already calling me back.  Wrong.  I am just getting my bracelet.  I sit back down.  The liquid is starting to soak through my pants.  I am so thankful that I have a long jacket on.  My name is called again.  I am taken back into a little room.  I answer questions such as "Why are you here?" "What pregnancy is this?"  Thank you so much for making me think about that now that my current baby's life is in danger.  Etc, etc.  I then have to go over to the window to give all of my insurance information.  I am not even acknowledged at first.  When I finally am, Jack notices that my parents are already in the ER.  The nurse lets them back with us.  While I am giving my information, my wheelchair arrives.  My mom takes over giving them my information, and I am immediately whisked off to L&D triage.  I have to change into one of those hideous hospital gowns.  I am terribly afraid to remove my underwear because I know I am going to be leaking all over the place.  Thankfully when I get back to the bed.  The nurse is back and puts what looks like a puppy pad on the bed.  Jack even mentions that, and she says, "That's basically all it is."  The nurse lets me get comfortable in the bed.  She proceeds to take all of my vitals.  She says that she is going to check to see if my water has infact broken with this ...proceeds to lift sheet without finishing her sentence..."Oh yeah, your water broke."  I then get an IV for the first time in my life.  Ow!  During my time waiting on my OB/GYN to get there my parents and Jack swap out coming in to talk to me.  When my doctor gets there, she checks me.  She says that my cervix is closed, but I am going to have to be transported to Centennial.  They have the best NICU in the area.  That is where I need to be, and that is where I will stay until I give birth.  I also immediately have a steroid shot in my hip to help with JT's lung development.  I then play the waiting game again.  I have to wait for transport to come get me.  When they finally get there, I swap over to their skinny gurney to be transported.  I proceed to be quickly moved through the hospital towards the ambulance.  My mom is still with me, and all I can think is, "Oh God.  I don't think she will be able to handle me being put into the back of an ambulance." I later find out that she does walk away when they are putting me in.
  The paramedic that is in the back with me puts the blood pressure cuff on me.  It cuts off all circulation when it cuts on every 10 minutes.  She talks to me the entire ride to Centennial.  Thankfully both paramedics are very friendly.  We even listen to decent music during the ride!  When we get to Centennial, they take me out of the ambulance.  I look up and all I see are the white beams above me.  They wheel me into the hospital straight to the elevator.  I see a statue of a mother and her child.  We get into an elevator, and I am taken straight to the 6th floor.  The doors open.  My mother in law is there.  Oh geez!  Why is she here?  She starts to talk to me.  I am not ready to talk to anyone yet.  I just want my husband with me.  They ask her to step out of the room while I move on to the bed that will be my bed for the rest of my stay.  My nurse, Alix, starts to hook me up to my IVs and give me my extra hospital jewelry (oh those fabulous bracelets!).  My mother in law comes back in, and I try to explain to her that I am not having JT that day.  They are going to do everything they can to keep him in as long as possible.  She was planning on staying until he came until I told her that.  Jack finally gets to the hospital.  The doctor comes in to talk to me.  My mother in law proceeds to talk to Jack the entire time that the doctor is in room.  He misses 90% of what the doctor says.  Anger does not even begin to describe my feelings about that.  She keeps telling Jack, "They are just going to scare her telling her all of that."  Ummmm no!  I need to know what the hell is happening to me, and I need Jack to help me remember everything.  All I know is that they are starting me on magnesium, or as I like to call it "The Devil."